[REVIEW] True Blood 5.3 x Whatever I Am, You Made Me

The power of the Authority: The six chancellors are at odds with Bill’s proposal to find and kill Russell. Bill and Eric learn that the Sanguinistas have put Russell at the forefront of their warfront, causing a disconnect with Roman’s plan for human coexistence. Rev. Steve Newlin, in a great reveal, is the “new Nan Flanagan”, with Roman planning to use his religious audience to keep the AVL’s public image safe during the Russell situation. Eric and Bill are armed with #theicestake, a deadly cross alarm to keep them in order during their search for the King of Mississippi. Salome meets with Bill and Eric separately, and has sex with them both in an obvious leverage move. Salome also reveals her mother traded her into the Seven Veils and sold her to humans, who made her a vampire. She compliments Bill’s leadership and trusts his ability to bring Russell in, and praises Eric for being honorable about Nora and admits his sister’s betrayal makes her look very bad to the Authority. Rosalyn (my favorite #quirkytexan) gets Nora to confess to siding with the Sanguinistas, and after informing Bill and Eric, she reveals the anti-human group is organizing against the Authority. Roman coyly responds to Salome that he can’t lose with her as his secret weapon.

Tara and Sookie’s battles: Tara avoids Lafayette and Sookie in the woods, and comes across #fairyland on her journey. She eventually finds a beating pulse that leads her to a girl on the side of the road, but spares her when she sees a cross. Sam eventually sniffs Tara out and finds her scared, alone, and strangely in need of a supernatural friend. Tara drinks all the True Bloods at Merlotte’s and leaves her in the bar freezer at daylight. Lafayette reveals that he tells First Lady Lettie Mae Daniels about Tara – a possible future tie-in to the vampire-hunter storyline from episode 2. With another promise broken, Sookie reads Sam’s mind and discovers Tara’s whereabouts. At nightfall, Lafayette tries to feed Tara with his usual manners (“drink hookah, drink!”), but she escapes before revealing her vamp status to Arlene and Alcide. The latter forces two major themes going into episode 4: 1) Arlene’s guilt trip causing Lafayette to turn demon, pouring bleach in her soup before – could anger be his supernatural trigger?, and 2) Alcide angrily discovering that Sookie killed Debbie – oddly, the sexiest scene of the entire episode. Andy, after receiving a visit from Debbie’s parents, interrogates Sookie, who narrowly avoids arrest without using her abilities.

Jason and Andy’s sexual confusion: The sheriff staff find Andy’s picture on Facebook, thanks to Holly’s sons. Holly informs Andy that she’s a #brokewitch, with Andy responding by asking her to be in a relationship, not before briefly asking about Debbie. Jason meets his old teacher Miss Jill Steeler in the local grocery store, and end up fucking. Prince Charming, her cat, displays early supernatural tendencies – and I wouldn’t be surprised if it was one of Sam and Luna’s shifter friends from the previous season. Jill believes she took advantage of Jason’s youth, and after their bout he agrees and leaves. Jessica visits Tracy’s Togs, who informs her of Jason’s infamous #playercard. While trying on clothes, she smells Claude (Claudine’s brother), who is picking up fairy dresses for his 16 sisters. After an unsuccessful chase, Jessica also finds #fairyland.

Pam Flashbacks: Sookie goes to Fangtasia for help with Tara, but Pam bluntly refuses. A shock of Sookie’s light causes Pam to flashback to Pam’s San Francisco days, with Eric wooing her, showing little interest in her ring of prostitutes, and eventually having sex. It is also revealed the woman Bill and Lorena devoured in a flashback to season 2 was also one of these prostitutes, causing Pam to grieve her fallen worker. Eric, the area master, forces Lorena and Eric to leave the city immediately, but it is also the first time Bill and Eric meet, showing the initiation of their ongoing power struggle. Pam realizes Eric’s power in the vampire world and asks to become one. While Eric questions his ability to be a maker, Pam slices both her wrists, leaving him with no choice.

Other Plots: Terry abruptely tells Arlene that he and Patrick are going to hunt down Eller, the accused supernatural causing the recent string of #veteranfires between them and fallen soldier LaMarcus. While they have yet to reveal what Eller is, I’m hoping it’ll be worth the wait and not like the Mavis storyline. Hoyt visits Fangtasia and meets Pam, wishing to be eaten alive. Personally, if he can’t get back with Jessica (which isn’t looking likely), he should call back Summer (from season 3) – “homemade biscuits and homegrown tits”.

Every episode has had an incline in dramatic scenes, but now we have framework for the many battles in season 5. Tara’s struggle with her vampire hunger could easily tie into the vampire hunter storyline, which could have some relation to the Sanguinistas’ thoughts on “humans as cattle.” Lafayette’s demon surfacing could cause problems for any supernaturals, but Salome’s allusion to “further necromancy” at the episode’s beginning along with Ruby Jean Reynolds’s (Alfre Woodard) return makes me sure there will be plenty of witchy spells to come. Finally, Sookie and Pam’s struggle with their relationships has been remarkable acting on both fronts. Both may have been in tears every episode this season, but their reasons for such emotions warrants great acting, and Kristin Bauer van Straten and (pregnant with twins) Anna Paquin have both delivered. We know Pam will rescue Tara, and we know Jessica will see Claude again, but the one question that lingered for me was about the werewolves – another episode without Martha’s twang just wouldn’t be fun.

“Do you know the one thing more dangerous than a martyr? A 3,000 year old vampire who hasn’t fed in over a year of suffering. It does not cure the appetite for power, it exacerbates it.” (Roman)

“You guys are way too cute to be goo.” (Amber)

“Arlene, these beans are colder than titties in a brass bra!” (Lafayette)

“Don’t believe everything you read – the human bible, it’s a little better than US Weekly. They made me a convenient villian.” (Salome)

“A maker is an eternal commitment, greater than any marriage, deeper than any human bond. To throw that away is sacrilige.” (Eric)

“As we say in Texas, if you find yourself in a hole, the first thing you do is stop digging.” (Rosalyn)

“Yes I believe vampires were made in God’s image. I believe mainstreaming is an abomination, and I believe that Lilith will rise from the blood and rip your blasphemous fuckng heads off and dance in your muck!” (Nora)

“You know what they say about a gentleman, they don’t brag about sloppy seconds.” (Bill)

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