Adventures with Alcide as Scooby-Doo: Sookie and Alcide go upstairs to have sex, but accidentally throws up on his boots after having way too much peach schnapps. Bill and Eric witness the tragic incident, and they ask for Sookie’s assistance in unglamouring Alcide’s employee Doug to discover Russell’s whereabouts. A still drunken Sookie instead finds laughter in reading Alcide’s mind and hearing barking, coyly agreeing to the request which she calls a #bootnrally. When Sook reads Doug’s mind, she sees a woman with a pendant necklace directing a glamoured Doug who is carrying Russell. Bill immediately suspects Nora as the person who released Russell. Eric asserts it could be any female member of the Authority, as the pendant must be worn by all female AVL vamps. Molly, the vamp techie, calls and warns them their #deathstakes will activate at dawn, just as they arrive at the abandoned mental hospital to begin their search. Alcide smells wolves in the building as they come across a large pile of humans (both dead and alive) presumably used for feeding. They venture further to find and confront Russell briefly in the morgue, just as Alcide is dragged away by a group of wolves.

Jason post-fairyland: After being abruptly removed from #fairyland at the last episode’s conclusion, Jason has a vivid flashback to when Sookie is four years old with a present-day Jason donning a He-Man costume. He sees his real parents with bite marks on them over eggs and cereal, and notices it isn’t a real dream. Jason and Andy both wake up simultaneously in the night and don’t remember anything. Andy feels that the recent supernatural incidents may hinder his newfound relationship with Holly, and can’t fathom that he slept with a fairy (Maurella).

The dishonest Authority: Nora continues to pray daily to the Sanguinistas and is tortured repeatedly by the Authority. For the first time ever, Salome looked scared stiffless when she learns about Bill and Eric’s visit to Shreveport and goes to pray over fallen chancellor Alexander Drew’s blood. Roman, also praying, doesn’t believe Alex lost his #authoritypaty on his own and thinks there could be more traitors. Salome, again, points out that the Sanguinistas are gaining ground and asks Roman to change the overtly biblical tone of the AVL’s primary message. Roman meets with all AVL chancellors and board members and warns them of the consequences of betraying the Authority.

Pam and Tara as Mother and Child: Tara turns all the heads at Fangtasia, as she appears darker, sexier, but still very much a vampire. She shares her disdain with working for Pam as a bartender, and feels like she doesn’t have any friends. She attempts to feed off one of her first customers, until Pam threatens her existence for ever doing so again. A watching Jessica and Tara bond briefly, with Jess schooling Tara on the positive side of a vampire lifestyle (immortality, not being controlled by humans, sex while #drinking). Outside Fangtasia, Tara finds that smoking cigarettes for a vampire only involves two puffs, and runs into Hoyt who desperately wants to be bitten. Tara initially refuses, but meets Hoyt in the bathroom, coincidentally with Jessica feeding on Tara’s snack from earlier. Jessica hears Hoyt’s voice, causing her to attack Tara.

Other Plots: Lafayette returns home and has visions of himself in demon form. He asks his dolls for guidance but they all repeat how “fucked” he is. After a nap, he and his mother both have visions of Jesus with a stitched mouth, unable to help Lafayette as promised. Terry and Patrick are temporarily captured by Brian Eller, who describes fellow soldier Jamarcus’ death, who died at the hands of a powerful ifrit (a fertile spirit within a fire). A flashback to the Iraqi war reveals Terry being cursed (“may the ifrit burn you all and everything you’ve ever loved”). Eller is killed by the ifrit as Patrick and Terry escape. Sam reminds Andy that he’s a shifter at Suzanne and Emory’s crime scene, suspected to have been killed by vampire hunters. When Sam tells Luna about their friends’ deaths, he smells a wolf (Emma) and leaves, only to be shot by the vampire hunters. Luna is shot (fatally) while little Emma shifts into a werewolf and escapes.

“Let’s Boot ‘n Rally” has been the most exciting, action-filled episode this season, even if it’s left many cliffhangers for the sixth episode. In fact, the episode’s “let’s boot and rally” theme serves as Sookie’s main focus this episode, and it really seemed like each storyline was on a race for answers fast. One particularly interesting was Andy Bellefleur, whose shocking #fairysex is starting to become too much. His experience in season 4 (skip to about 1:45) makes me think the fairies want more from the humans they’ve been illegally transporting. Also, as Salome becomes more suspicious with each episode, her warning against possible future necromancy is beginning to look like more of a reality if Lafayette doesn’t pull it together. An AVL/Lafayette battle at the end of the season would be a tough pill to swallow, but somehow every finale Laf finds himself in extreme danger. ‘The L Word’ writer Angela Robinson’s debut was impressive, but I’m more looking forward to show creator Alan Ball’s first episode of season five next week.

“I just need some fuckin’ help.” (Lafayette)

“If I wanted to look like a drag queen, I would’ve raided Lafayette’s closet.” (Tara)

“Wait until you try feeding and fucking at the same time.” (Jessica)

“As my lover Talbot used to say, give it your best shot.” (Russell)